Things I used to hate

I used to hate so many things that I earned the self-proclaimed title "Most Annoying Hater Kid" back when I was still 12.
Like when I was 12, I hated talking to kids my age cuz I thought they were kids.
LOL then one fine day, mom was talking to me about a KEKSUI friend she has who doesn't get any hint or social cues when she's talking or blabbering away.
So I suggested she Google up ASPERGER'S SYNDROME to see if her friend has it.
But it turns out that the one who showed more symptom of asperger's syndrome was me when I was just a kid.
Yeah everyone. it's sad to announce here that I only have 3 months left to live.
I thank you all, my dear friends for putting up with me.
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JUST KIDDING!!!
ASPERGER SYNDROME NO NEED TO DIE K
hahahaha its just a syndrome... where kids can't read social cues.
okay sometimes it lasts till adulthood but PRAISE THE LORD I'VE GROWN OUT OF IT

".....had normal intelligence and language development, they had severely impaired social skills, were unable to communicate effectively with others...."

My mom told me that I never made any real friends in school until I went to church at the age of ten. When I was in primary school, she had to bring sweets to distribute to my classmates so that they will befriend me or something. omg. thank you mom i love you.
at least I was a pretty smart kid last time so they didnt avoid me or anything
it was me who avoided them

HMMM.... well, I don't have it now. To think that God really took away this permanent crap out of my DNA... anyway, for those of you who are curious, here's a list of symptoms of AS kids

A child with AS might have these signs and symptoms:

• inappropriate or minimal social interactions (mom said I lived in my own world and made imaginary friends, creepy. and i remember staring at people)
• conversations almost always revolving around self rather than others (I think this applies to every one!!)
• "scripted," "robotic," or repetitive speech (mom said  I used bombastic words in my daily conversations which annoyed the hell out of her)
• lack of "common sense" (I don't know about this. I really do have common sense but I don't know why Rebecca they all say until I so dumb)
• problems with reading, math, or writing skills (don't have. hand writing ugly not counted)
• obsession with complex topics (I dunno how to explain. I feel that I don't have. But mom and my bro and whoever told me that when I talk, I will give irrelevant scientific explanation. not true. I feel that there is a need for people to understand how things really work, that's all.)
• average to below-average nonverbal cognitive abilities, though verbal cognitive abilities are usually average to above-average (i dont get this. what does it mean?)
• awkward movements (dont have!!)
• odd behaviors or mannerisms(dont have!!!!)

yea so if you feel that you know someone like that, don't worry about them. they're as intelligent as others but they just don't know how to make friends.

oh yea. I have a real sadistic friend who acts like she's not sadistic at all.
okay so here's what happened.

she got so tired of pigeons hanging around chillin' and shittin' at her aircond ventilator.
so she post on FB asking for some advice to drive away the pigeons
her helpful friends posted some youtube videos and stuff la
then I told her to set up some electrical wiring so that when the pigeons touch it they will
kena electrocuted
the same concept used in the electrical FLY&MOSQUITO swatter.
then she say i sadistic o
but u know what she said in the end?

"I was thinking of dipping bread in Chlorox and feed it to them..."

.............................

I don't know what else to blog.
oh actually I got.
but got a lot of pictures.
yalo i started to take pictures cos i realize my blog got no pictures
very sien

omg i have a feeling that this blog will turn out to become like my two other abandoned blogs
all the hater nonsense
but im gonna make sure this time its good hater nonsense

wah nothing funny happened today lo.
i blog cos isaac ask me to blog.

i should only blog when something funny happens
or something worth blogging.

Dream Wedding

Today is a Sunday so I went to church duh

after church we went to watch Pitch Perfect.

wah very funny. hahahahahaha. the fat amy. hahahahahaha

I shall not spoil the show for u all.

watch it yourselves, its worth it. 

I can say that so far, of all musical movies I've watched, Pitche Perfect is really the best la.

Ah, I know!! 

It's like the "Sound of Music" of this era.

and my favourite character is Fat Amy. I want her confidence.

I mean, I'm confident with myself but I really admire hers.

anyway, the main topic I want to blog about today is our discussion on our 'dream wedding'

I'll just blog whatever I remembered la.

Okay so it's like this. We were talking about the kind of guy and girl we (isaac, carol, jqing, harry, rebecca, wenyee and I) like as a husband or wife and then dunno how we sampai this topic. of dream wedding

oh ya i remember, its because we got so sick of talking about the guy I like (he's hot so we talk about him for an hour)

as usual, Jqing and Harry have no comments because they're the kind of husbands that will kena bully by their wives (haha jkjk, just pendiam) and Jqing said that he will just leave everything to his wife to decide.

Then Rebecca said that she would like her dream wedding to be on a... a... tall tall building where u can see all the lights in the city. Kind of like kissing on the top of Eiffel Tower.... like what me and Eric did until I got Harry as my accidental child hahahahahahah

And then stuff got more dreamy.... Wenyee said she wanted a beach wedding la. okay its a really great idea ... I think the Maldives would be a good place to get married. have u seen maldives?? wah, really leng man. more leng than your wife.

And then Carol also kind of wanted a safari beach like wedding but I dunno how she imagine until.... when she kiss, the volcano and the background will erupt and then everyone invited to the wedding will run away together, hand in hand, with a smile on their face.

I think my dream wedding is the most realistic one lo...

A safari wedding themed the "Garden of Eden"... and the dress code is "leaves"

can u imagine how much money I helped u guys to save on deciding what to wear on my wedding? 

and no need decoration. the trees and the butterflies and the birds and the monkeys and the lizards and snakes and the spiders and the centipedes and the scorpion and everything else are sufficient to beautify my dream wedding.

Isn't my dream wedding the most realistic and inexpensive one? and also the most fun. I mean, we all get to act like apes for a day jakooning around in leaves. 

then again, i did not specify what leaves u must wear. you can wear leaves of any sizes, nobody cares since we all have what you have. oh yes and for girls pls use coconut shell to cover milk udders. it's the most appropriate.

ahhh yess and everyone wears flowers on their head! cantik!!

Then I after that we proceeded to talk about our dream proposal.

I said I wanted my boyfriend to propose to me on Mount Kinabalu or Everest (yes we will climb together, not helicopter ok)

Then Harry suggested that he proposes while sky diving. or something like that la. i forgot.

i think its something like this: the guy pushed me down and then jump down together and take out the ring.

ohh nevermind, I forgot.

and then, this is a list of Reb's dream proposal (copy paste from FB)

1. propose with a song, "I know it's too mainstream, but yea, my heart will melt"
2. cook something for me and decorate the food with the proposal message, not necessary a ring la, be more creative
3. draw me something, if he is good in drawing and include the proposal message in it
4. bring me to the highest point of any building an propose me while all the neon lights are still on

5. when he sees the wedding gown shop, he will say something like, "I want to see you with that dress on" or anything that can make me get the message.

She's the romantic type.

and she's still single

and she works as a nurse

and she likes kids

and she has a caring heart

and she has nice legs

please add her on Facebook if you're lonely.

we talk about a lot of other stuff. its funny but all inside jokes so no point talking about it here.

and its a lot of guys and girls and all the boring stuff that u can watch in romance movies.

oh yea and then u know 

that new anime

SUKI-TTE IINAYO

wahhh i REALLY CANNOT TAHAN THE GIRL

BUT FOR SOMEREASON I CANT STOP WATCHING

I THINK ITS WRITTEN BY A GIRL

with very very low self esteem

who is an idealist

and hopes for a boyfriend that doesn't exist

like, walau

that Tachibana Mei (main character, girl) can just run out in the middle of the date, into the pouring rain and expect her boyfriend to run around and look into every corner of the city, only to find her playing with a stray cat.

how sick is that.

I want to slap her.

and then she is like the mega emo type and always needs her boyfriend to tell her encouraging stuff and they somehow end up kissing

and then she gets jealous because her boyfriend is so hot girls keep staring at him

and then she tells him that she is too plain and doesn't suit him.

IF YOU THINK YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH

WORK HARDER

urgh.

I think people like Tachibana Mei 

doesn't need a boyfriend.

she needs Jesus to give her strength and wisdom.

really man. can't tahan that anime. makes me angry

I dunno why I keep watching it. AAAHHH I ANGRY!!!!

Oh ya I realize i have this

3-minute-hotness (sam fan zhong yit dou)

for everything I'm doing.

help.

now I even feel like quitting degree and opening a tuition center

im pretty sure that very much sooner,

I will want to set up a food stall in pasar malam or something.

omg u know, Pasar malam is a great idea.

let's quit degree and sell food at pasar malam.

Lift rosak

Today I'm supposed to go teach my student at 8pm.
Since I live in a condo, of course I have to take lift to go down right.
Yesterday one lift rosak, today both also rosak.
Aiya I don't want to go already lah...

...

u ask me walk downstairs ah?
YOU WALK LA
25 FLOORS you walk down yourself...
somemore the staircase no lights one.

man, my mom every month pay maintenance fees also dunno for what.
lift always rosak, stairs got no light.
kena rape at the stairs how.

speaking about fees...
The other day, Rebecca, Isaac and I went to hang out at Rotiboy.
what a place to hang lol but anyways, we were talking about marriage.
well, we are ageing and no longer young...

So, like I said, it has something to do with fees and marriage.
Isaac, Rebecca and I, are thinking about how to cut cost for our weddings.
Ah, being a member of a church is indeed a blessing... you will never be shorthanded
mempergunakan people. LOLOLOLOL

In our church, there are two people who.... you know, like to decorate things.
and they are VERY PRACTICAL AND TALENTED IN CUTTING COST
let's call them Alien and Predator.

Rebecca, being the oldest among us three, will have to get married first obviously since she's way way wayyyy older than us lolololol
and then she's very popular for always saying this
"I this week very poor (every week also poor) my gaji havent come out ohhh ohhhh I have to go bank and ambil duit"
so the one who want to cut cost the most is her.

during her wedding, I suggested we ask Alien and Predator to decorate the church and the restaurant and everything la. all the design design thing they in charge la.
Then Alien and Predator will collect all the recycable materials to decorate everything

the stage there, supposed to put Rebecca & Husband's Name
will be cut out using cardbox. and then above there got one big big banner
"CPY YOUTH EVENT: REBECCA'S WEDDING"

and then at the entrance, you will see chains of empty coca cola cans dangling... like aluminium curtains for you to push away as you walk grandly into the ballroom on a red carpet.

and the red carpet, is made of old angpows.

When the bride Rebecca arrives, you can see her dressed in tissue. fashion ma. and easy for her husband to strip later. LOLOLOL

so everyone digs into a large bowl of flower petals (cut from old clothes), grabs some and throw at rebecca as she walks glamorously along the aisle to her husband.

finally, alien and predator will light up home made fire crackers.
home made.
fire crackers.
i don't want to imagine.

LOL

we were very mean.
no no we were NOT gossiping about alien and predator
it just turns out that both alien and predator have a reputation of
reusing and recycling stuff and turn it into decorations.
a rare talent.
so we're just making fun of that.
aiya don't so sensitive la wei
we make fun of everything...

OH AND YOU KNOW THAT MY CAR KENA BANG?
all this while i bang other ppl's car... and I'm immune to this guilt... (the first time i bang ppl's car and drove away, i felt as if i've just committed murder)
BUT NOW I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE RAGE
WHEN MY CAR KENA BANG
AND WHEN THAT @$$HOLE ACCUSE ME FOR BEING WRECKLESS

and so I shall explain the incident.

I dropped Chris and Cel home after shopping for BBQ stuff.
It was late at night, around 12 30am.
after i dropped them, I drove off...
and then suddenly this idiot just appeared from the junction (I was on the main road) without looking.
so i hon la.
A LOOOONNNG LOUD HONK
and as i hon, i tried to avoid him.
wah that guy, i think he drink or something and his reflexes slow la.
hon already also keep driving. and then like drama like that....
BING BONG BLIANG CHING CHONG CHIANG

he rammed into the side of my car (passenger seat, thank God. if not i die)
I faster stop my car and come out lo.
I want to PENG him already. but then I saw his front bumper...
wah... worse condition than mine. My proton just dented at the side only.
but his car? walau, like made of plastic and glue here glue there only.
once smash, everything in front just drop and break.

aiyo, i see him like that, i also pity la. I don't want to show angry face.
I terus ask him if he's alright, he didn't answer.
so i told him my dad deals with cars, he can help him repair his car...

and then... all the neighbours come out and kepo a while...
AND THEN CHRIS AND CEL AND PASTOR WHOLE FAMILY COME OUT
that's when he started to be all defensive and crap.

pastor ask what happened.
I told him my car got rammed at the side.
then, that CULPRIT STARTED TO BLAME ME
say I jalan too fast, never see road... and NEVER ON HEAD LIGHTS
NEVER ON HEADLIGHTS
NEVER ON HEADLIGHTS

to think that I have forgiven him, how can he say such things to me when he's obviously in the wrong?
urgh. shall I continue...

so i told him that I did in fact switch on my headlights.
because I came back from Tesco... drove all the way here.
how can I not ON MY HEADLIGHTS driving on the main road in the middle of the night.
ridiculous excuse.
and then he keep repeating the same thing.
I don't want to argue.
u see his face so red... he's drunk. later he whack me how.

and then even if I really forgotten to switch on my headlights...

well... the accident happened right under a BRIGHT LAMPOST
HOW CAN HE NOT SEE ME.
IDIOT
URGH

sometimes i wonder
IS IT REALLY THAT HARD FOR ONE TO APOLOGIZE?
all the time i bang ppl's car, i say sorry and sorry and sorry
because i know its my fault.

that @$$hole. not even a word of sorry.
its not like im going to sue him or what
just say sorry, I will be all like "its ok man, pls be careful"

what has this world come to.
sorry also don't want to say.
and somemore he is UNCLE.

WAHHHH IM SO ANGRY NOW!!!
I DON'T WANT TO BLOG D!\
IM SO ANGRY!
GOOD NIGHT!

Pink Ayam Panggang

Wah, delayed blogging for so so so many days. I'll just post whatever I remember la.

So there was this once I logged onto Facebook la. And then I saw many many emo status on my news feed. I thought it was because of Ghost Festival or whatever until I saw that all those emo status came from the same person. Really what the crap lo.

And the status really sound like he wanna commit suicide and stuff, saying that he's always forgotten and non-existent and all the bull la... AND THEN SOME MORE THE STATUS NOBODY LIKE ONE LO!

so I stalk his profile and see what happen why he so emo why he so depressed la.

but then got nothing lo. all he post is emo things. and then i think nobody wanna like his status also cos they sien already he everyday also like that (almost everyday also talk like that, but when i see his photo album, he very happy one)

Since I'm terrible and comforting people, I decided to ask a mutual friend of ours to talk to him because I assumed she's the type who understands people. Unfortunately, she's just like me... cannot tahan emo people. Oh well I'm definitely better off k, at least i care about the emo people. But not her, she just wanna slap them 567439475847594 times in the face. I think I have to share our conversation here. I'll just post whatever I remember. It's too funny!

Me : Ei, go and chat with *XXX la, he's like so emo leh.

Her: aduh i also sien u cannot ask me do this kind of things one i hate ppl like that

Me: walao i not hate la it just makes me wanna run

Her:   cannot stand one. long long once ok la, everyday tak tahan wei. Grrr, beh tahan betul, I'm not like *Prisha they all

Me: Yalo, only Prisha got this patience to tahan people like him. But I think if nothing is done, it will get worse lo.

Her: Huh? Even Prisha also cannot tahan XXX k. I dunno la, u see XXX every time post this kind of status, nobody like one.

Me: Got la, 1 or 2

Her: Not close one la.

Me: Oh... it must be so frequent, nobody dare to like

Her: Obviously lo everyday also like that.

Me: Not everyday la, but I don't understand why must everything broadcast on FB lo

Her: Eh, find one day we sit down and talk to him la.

Me: Cannot la, u wanna pressure him until he die meh

Her: Haha! then all our displeasure shown on our face! Eh let's comment something la.

Me: dont want la. ei this kind of depressed people, I think need some girl to fall in love with him to cure him lo.

Her: Yaya I was thinking the same, ask who to fall in love with him?

Me: You go confess to him la, you used to be classmates right?

Her: don't start this rumour man

Me: I support you!

Her: I will seriously be angry one

Me: you think of it this way la, u flatter him a bit, raise his self esteem, and save his life...

Her: later he know I pretend go and commit suicide how?

Me: oh true, THEN  HOW!?

Her : find one day we ask him go yam cha...

Me: wah I don't want leh

Her: then how

Me: he sure wont talk one...

Her: Then ask Prisha come out talk with him la

Me: Prisha say she try before but he just emo only lo

Her: URGGHHH THEN HOW!? I ANGRY D! I GO BATHE!

and so the conversation goes on and on for a whole hour, trying to suggest for better ways to cure his depression. But in the end we didn't do anything also. I think it's safer this way though... Both of us terrible at consulting people. One wrong word from the mouth he go jump from everest how?

wei, why my font different already one? deng, how to change back? 
nvm

I want to continue.

then few days later me, Tzehua and Rebs went to Leisure Mall to eat ayam panggang.

we keep ordering the ayam again and again, like 3 times. Mega addictive I tell you, it's like the best ayam panggang in Msia. And then so happened that this saturday Imma have BBQ pool party at my condo, so I thought of asking him for the recipe la.

U know behind McD there, is it got a lot of mamak stall one right, 

there's this malay stall selling ayam panggang. You can't miss it one.

all the ayam red red color, and the aroma is like sex to your nose. (lol what metaphor is this)

But then again, it might be their secret recipe for their successful business.

I think sell ayam panggang can earn RM50 an hour lo.

Rebs don't want to nurse already, she want to sell ayam panggang.

wah my font change back, i dunno what I did, but anyway...

Tzehua suggested a method to interview the malay boy for the recipe. it's supposed to sound something like this...

Tzehua : Encik, kami dari Jalan-jalan Cari Makan (a TV program)

Boy: Oh...

Tzehua : Tahniah kepada encik, anda dipilih untuk mewakili semua gerai ayam panggang di seluruh Msia

Boy : betul ka?

Tzehua : Jadi, kami perlu ambil resipi ayam panggang ini

ah, i forgot what else to blog already. sei lo... actually got many things to blog one lo.

whatever la, if I remember then I come back here again....

50 shades of...

Thank God my dear friend Kris reminded me that I was supposed to have usher duties at church today or else I would have ended up late to church again because of yesterday's late night yamcha session.

That aside, after church and acapella practice both Kris and Lucas had to crash at my place for a while until 9pm so that we can all go eat with pastor they all.

It wasn't Kris' first time in my room, but it was Lucas'. And so we (more like she) had to find ways and means to keep him entertained. Dahla he so diam, we also dunno what he thinking.
Ask him want to drink? He say don't want.
Ask him if he's shy, he say a bit.
This fella, if you want to strike a conversation with him you must ask him random stuff one lo.
Stuff like
Is she your type?
No ah? Then what is you type?
Why is she your type?

Anyway... while I was taking a bath, Kris decided to watch a movie on my laptop together with him.
in my room
on my bed.....
ok that's not important
what's important is that, the movie... i forgot what is it called.
Mission Muffin or something.
It's a family sitcom (according to Kris) about a guy who came back from the army to learn how to bake.
Is it?? Not sure...
But guess what, I still didn't know what's the whole point of the movie after joining them for about 20 minutes.
Walao, is like watching a show that records a normal family's daily routine lo
wake up, say good morning, come downstairs eat breakfast, go school, play sports, then go work.
Got no patience for this kind of movie.
Kris and I have so many things we disagree with; is what I discovered today.

Lucas was finally sick of the show and we took him out for dinner.
And then we went to MPH bookstore to pass time la.
and then I saw this book.
mega popular best seller
50 shades of grey.

WA OF COURSE I CURIOUS LA
ITS A BOOK ABOUT "FOOD"
don't pretend like you're not the least excited when you see the word "FOOD" k.

So I saw one sample at the shelf and I read it la.
the front part very boring, so I skip to the part where they're doing it.
walau eh, every single move they make is written in the pages with SO MUCH DETAIL
something most of us would call "too-much-information"

All the groaning and moaning la
sliding the sausage in and out of the doughnut la.
and the french fries taste like what la, the texture of the frenchfries once coated with mayonaise, is like what one la.
so much detail you can actually imagine them
enjoying so much pleasure
indulging in food.

I read three pages and I close the book la. It's not like I don't want to continue reading leh, I want! But then reading that book openly in front of everyone is like watching porn in public with a loudspeaker blasting the sound effects throughout the entire bookstore lo.
any avid reader would know what 50 shades of grey is about.

Ohhhh and of course I forced Lucas and Kris to come with me so that I could make them read the contents of the "cook book". But since Lucas (who doesn't have the slightest idea of what the book is about) said "wah so many words I don't wanna read"
I read it for him to hear.

Wahhhh he damn cute leh.
same age with me (20) some more say "YEEERRRRR YEEEEERRRR" when he heard those kind of things.
wwwaaaaahhh sooo cuteeee.
Guys pure like this are extinct!!!!
Kris also got "yer" la but nevermind, cos she's a girl.
I could imagine if I read it to my other guy friends, they wouldn't even bother to listen because they have watched the actual thing.

OH I'm NOT stereotyping.
Did you know that there was a researcher who wanted to carry out a social test on MALES WHO HAVE NOT WATCHED PORN but the test failed,
because they couldn't find any test subjects.

Kris suggested that I buy the cookbook and highlight the part where they actually start cooking.
Not a bad idea :P

And for those who don't know about this book,
it's a good read. The trilogy is a compilation of children bed time stories.

OHH yess I remember the name of the family sitcom.
it's Operation Cupcake...

And so, we finally got together with pastor they all to have dinner together. and after dinner, we had Tongsui.
I don't think I wanna blog about this.
Too many inside jokes.

And I said something silly just now in my friend's car.
I couldn't find my wallet in my large bag.
I asked her to call my wallet.
cuz that's how I find my phone.

ahhhh, I love everything about my life right now.
I don't think I will ask for anything more,
cos I believe God gives me what I can handle.
And of course, I don't wanna lose anything right now either.

I'm glad I only meet with my church friends twice a day,
anything more than that will definitely drive me to live a hedonistic lifestyle.
I already don't feel like doing any more assignments since its already week 13 (we have a total of 14 academic weeks per semester)

Good night.
-the end-

Back again

Ah how nostalgic to be back here again. I read my previous post.
I GUESS IM VERY PATHETIC AND FICKLE MINDED AS A BLOGGER.
Inconsistent and all the nonsense.
However, my dear friend Isaac Tan persuaded me long enough to start blogging again.
He said I have potential.
And macam mana he motivate me?

"You know ah, the bloggers, when they become popular, they have a lot of free things lo"
"Free movie ticket ah, free coupon ah, free hand phone also got"

Can't believe how gullible I am but anyways here I am again.

I need to talk about this post on Facebook I saw the other day.
Apparently, it's all about what girls want in a guy (I personally think its unrealistic and dumb)
The title of the post it "I wanna be the reason"
and the contents are...

I wanna be the reason why:
- he cancels his night out with friends. Because I'm sick

You sick ah? SEE DOCTOR LA. YOUR BOYFRIEND CAN HELP YOU MEH!?
And being sick is not good enough a reason for you bf to cancel trips with his friends.
if you're old and mature enough to understand, you can already take care of your own body and guys especially, need their personal space and social circle. You cannot invade that.

The second one (gets worse)

I wanna be the reason why:
-he stays up late, cos I can't sleep.

You cannot sleep then do assignment or whatever la.
I don't believe in disturbing boyfriends for petty little things like that.
and all humans, in general, LOVE SLEEPING.
you cannot deprive him of his slumber just because you cant sleep.
and instead of lamenting about this, make use of that time to do something you like la.
don't give that bullshit "I love talking with my boyfriend"

The third one (Okay this is acceptable)
I wanna be the reason why he still doesn't go to sleep, to make sure I'm already home.

The fourth one (its sweet but not recommended)
I wanna be the reason he searched the whole city for a book, because it was my favourite.

You can download books or buy e-books at amazon.com
Just in case you don't know...

Ok the rest is very geli I don't wanna talk about it.

Yeahhh so this was what we discussed at the mamak.
UHHH what else ah?
Oh yes. The other day I watched Step-Up Revolution with my friends.
waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and then as usual, these kind of dance shows will trick you into believing that you are a potential dancer yourself.
So i tried to dance in front of the bathroom mirror when I got home.
wah look like shit.

-the end-